Half started stories

I'd nearly forgotten this blog. What's the point of talking when no one's listening? But then jamie posted a comment on my last piece and I remembered. Thanks jamie. This is worth doing, even if discontinuously.

So how have I been doing? You know that feeling you get when you're just learning to drive and you're doing 35 on a bendy 30mph limit road? The kind of bendy road where an experienced driver would actually do only 20? You aren't really dangerously out of control, but you very nearly are. Nearly missing parked cars and traversing a bend too fast. That's how I feel. Things aren't quite in control, I haven't had an accident yet but it could be staring me in the face at the next bend.

I went down to half an mg of respidon on 30th Oct. I managed to stay afloat, not dipping down into full blown depression by taking St John's Wort but don't feel too great either. I've stopped St John's Wort since then because it makes me anxious.

I gained a false sense of invincibility and sort of got into a confrontation with a manager type of person recently. Makes me wonder if I have traces of manic depression. But this is like hell, neither being totally confident nor at peace with a non confrontational approach. Things are getting a bit hairy.

Meanwhile, the missus is travelling tomorrow on business for 3 days. Let's see how I survive on my own for the rest of the week.

5-HTP effects

So, I again had 50mg 5-HTP last night, but no St John's Wort all day. Today, I felt a nervous energy through me all day and a propensity to be rather sharp with people. Amusing (a little) but not good for professional health. My biggest problem before the collapse of 2006 was my sharp tongue and anger. So, I'll have St John's Wort if I need to, but reckon should lay off the 5-HTP's. Having omega-3 as well. Have high hopes from Omega-3 but apparently takes about 4 weeks to kick in. Let's see.

Time out and some clarity

So, it's clear to me that the dreaded drop in mood is happening with the change in medicine. I didn't go to work on Friday and I know I will have hell to pay for it tomorrow. I may even have to contend with my contract not being renewed. But, we'll see.

Meanwhile, I am not giving up yet. I read this post, do note the bit about omega-3 studies and how EPA has been useful for the blogger. I've actually read about these studies before and I was impressed, that's why I have omega-3 supplements. The problem is I wasn't having anywhere near the right quantity. Significant change has been noticed with a dosage of at least 1g a day. Now, the post I've linked to above describes how the poster found significant effects only after having 4 capsules of PureEPA. My problem is, I am a lacto-vegan (vegan, except for milk products), and I had been taking Opti3, which is derived directly from algae, whereas the richest source of EPA is fish oil - which is what PureEPA is. I was only taking 1 capsule a day, which is 100mg of EPA when the recommended dosage is 10 times that amount. Unfortunately, I couldn't find any better source of vegan EPA in the UK. Eventually, I found Futurebiotics NewHarvest vegetarian EPA which has 600mg of EPA per capsule. They only ship within the US. This site, however ships to the UK. I'll let you know how long it takes to arrive.

I've also decided to try St John's Wart. It is not recommended for people on certain kinds of medicines, including anti-depression meds and anti-psychotics. But I am desperate here. Let's see how it goes.