Monday 28 November 2011

Half started stories

I'd nearly forgotten this blog. What's the point of talking when no one's listening? But then jamie posted a comment on my last piece and I remembered. Thanks jamie. This is worth doing, even if discontinuously.

So how have I been doing? You know that feeling you get when you're just learning to drive and you're doing 35 on a bendy 30mph limit road? The kind of bendy road where an experienced driver would actually do only 20? You aren't really dangerously out of control, but you very nearly are. Nearly missing parked cars and traversing a bend too fast. That's how I feel. Things aren't quite in control, I haven't had an accident yet but it could be staring me in the face at the next bend.

I went down to half an mg of respidon on 30th Oct. I managed to stay afloat, not dipping down into full blown depression by taking St John's Wort but don't feel too great either. I've stopped St John's Wort since then because it makes me anxious.

I gained a false sense of invincibility and sort of got into a confrontation with a manager type of person recently. Makes me wonder if I have traces of manic depression. But this is like hell, neither being totally confident nor at peace with a non confrontational approach. Things are getting a bit hairy.

Meanwhile, the missus is travelling tomorrow on business for 3 days. Let's see how I survive on my own for the rest of the week.

2 comments:

  1. It's great to find a blog about depression that isn't relentlessly upbeat. Cathartic - please keep writing.

    Brings back memories of former office job horrors - most shameful moment was listening to manager saying he can't stand women being in charge, and not saying anything back to stay in his favour. Still fantasise about going back there with an AR-15.

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  2. Thanks jamie, it's good to be able to share my crazy world.

    That manager you mention sounds medieval. An AR-15 is probably too good for him.

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